Having an erratic mind can often lead me down the wrong path, because I’m too busy in my head to see where I’m going.
Suddenly I snap out of my seemingly endless day dream, look around and discover I’m lost.
Sometimes it’s too late and spending too long in Lala Land, I come back and I’ve lost the people around me. I’ve hurt them and not even realised. I have been too busy thinking about myself, I’ve simply been selfish. I hurt, yes, but I tend to forget that other people hurt too and it isn’t until recently that I have chosen to ignore this.
I have the chance to move on and I actually see a future where I can finally feel like I belong, but if I don’t get my head out of the clouds then I will only have myself to blame if it’s gone when I reawaken.
To those I have hurt because I have spent too much time thinking about myself, dwelling in the past when I could be enjoying the present, I am truly sorry. I’m sorry that my emotions sometimes take on a life of their own and I absentmindedly allow that to negatively affect you. I’m sorry that it’s taken until now to realise that this is something I’ve done. I’m sorry that I’ve at times become unapproachable because you have no idea how I will react to sometimes the smallest things.
For someone who thinks constantly, I really haven’t thought about my actions. Yes I’ve been through tough times, but who hasn’t? It does not mean I have to be the woman scorned and punish others who are trying to care about me and make me happy.
I have had a wake up call and for once I really see the bigger picture.
Suddenly I’m calm. Suddenly I realised that the happiness I’ve been chasing all my life is right in front of me. Suddenly things don’t seem so bad.
I really need to find a way to keep my feet on the ground and my head out of the clouds. I want to be someone who inspires and brings smiles to those around me.
I have an idea for a series of short stories and I want to turn any negative energy into creative energy and write something meaningful and I want to prove to myself that I can control my emotions in a healthy way that keeps others in my life as happy as they make me.
Until next time, wish me luck!