I hope you are well and the world is turning in your favour.
At this point I do not know exactly what I am going to write about, I just know that I feel like writing and hopefully something good will come of it.
I feel a sense of calm that is a rarity I hardly have the privilege of feeling and it is nice. I think the medication I have been given to curb my anxiety is doing a great job of helping me find middle ground.
I am at a potentially stressful time in my life, the good kind of stress, the moving on. I can sense right at the back of my mind all the worries that are dying to get out and come to the forefront of my thoughts. They are practically screaming for me to notice them, but for one reason or another I am able to keep them back there long enough in the day to feel normal. I have to admit, it feels good.
I always worried that taking medication would alter my overall being, but in all honesty I do not think anything has changed about my true self except my neurotic persona. I think this is a mixture of the medication aiding me and having that down time to be able to process things with the balance I have needed for so long. I do not solely rely on the pills and I can say this with proof as last week I was on antibiotics and when I was taking them I was not taking my medication and I still felt I had that balance.
I believe I have a long way to go before I can call myself “cured”. A trip to the local shop the other day caused me to have the uncontrollable shakes. I was simply walking down the street and my nerves got the better of me, I could feel my jaw clench up and the only way I could calm down was by digging my fingernails into my palm. I have seen my GP a couple of times and they suggest I seek talk therapy. They wanted to put me on SSRI tablets, but it was not an option as I was not available to be monitored. To be honest I am glad, because these are the pills I think a person must rely on and I do not think I have the strength for that.
With all that being said, my point is the medication is doing better than I had hoped and it is a step in the right direction.
My second thought is I have decided to branch out. What you may not know about me is my hobby is gaming. It has been since childhood and there is a lot I want to say about the subject. I do not think that kind of content is relevant for my already hodgepodge blog, so I have decided I will be making a second blog solely for gaming. I do not know whom of my readers are as interested as I am, which I am going to make it a separate thing. It is only in concept stage at the moment, I do not even have a name. If you would be interested when it is up and running let me know and I will link it at the time.
Well, I think that is enough babbling for today. I hope whatever you get up to, you have the best time possible.
Until next time, Happy Autumn!