This is it, don’t get scared now

This particular post is in a journal-esk style. Written over a couple days and at the time of happening. 

I recently discovered that my life fits into four boxes, two suitcases and one backpack. My discovery comes after spending the last few days packing up my belongings because I am in fact moving to Sweden today.

As I write this I am sitting at the airport waiting for my flight. If you ever wondered about my recent posts which spoke about changes, being in limbo, transitions etc, this is what I was referring to. I like to remain vague about some of my tellings as you never know what will be, but as I am physically in the process and there is no going back I feel it is time to tell you. To be fair, you may have already guessed and this announcement is old news to you!

As of 23:15pm this evening, I will be an English girl living in one of the most beautiful countries I have ever had the pleasure of visiting. I am moving in with my other half, which I thought by now would be terrifying, but he has been immensely supportive and taken a lot of my worries away. I have actually been looking forward to this move instead of dreading it and thinking of reasons not to go.

The coach was late getting to the airport, which was not so bad as I had given myself plenty of time, just in case this kind of thing occurred. The plane is delayed too not by too long and it gave me plenty of time to enjoy my last meal in the UK, it was delicious.

It has been 24 hours since my arrival to my new home and my brain is starting to get up to its old tricks; it is trying to find something for me to worry about when there is not such thing at this point and I had a slight bout of anxiety. I had support though and I got through it quicker than usual. My problem is I fear failure before I even try. I know this is not a good way to be, but tell my brain that!

I think because I have never got to the point of happiness which sticks that I genuinely do not know what to do from here. In retrospect it is a good thing and I should look forward to the unknown, not dread it. I suppose that comes with practice and I have plenty of time for that. It is 01:29am Swedish time and I am up and writing this blog because I was foolish enough to drink coffee at 21:00pm.

I can not imagine the move could have gone any better. Despite delays and issues with shipping my stuff over here, I made it in one piece and I could not ask for more than that. This is it now, this is my chance to try and find my own path. It is not going to be easy, but is anything that is worth it really that easy? I know from now on I will get out of things what I put in, so it is time for 100% from the get go. No time to become complacent. This is not a test, it is the real thing, so I might as well try my best and you never know what could happen. The more I write about that the less scared I feel. I hope that lasts.

I noticed during this busy period the blog reached 5000 followers, so that you everyone once again for being so supportive towards me on a personal level and also the things that I write. I have received a lot of great questions for the Q&A which I will be answering in the next post. I am looking forward to that immensely.

Have you ever had a period in your life where you had no plan and you did not know what was going to happen next? How did you handle it? I would love some advice on the matter.

P.S: bonus points if you know where the reference of this post’s title comes from.

Until next time, stay amazing!

-Sara

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98 Comments

  1. Oh this is wonderful, truly wonderful! Following your heart and throwing caution to a warm, comforting wind. As I did over twenty years ago when I moved from Oz to Canada. My advice is smile, put your feet up, have a great sleep and trust destiny’s grand plans. Oh, and for sweet anxiety’s sake, drink decaf late at night 😉 peck on the cheek and warm hugs sweetheart!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. All the best to you in your new place of stay, Sweden. It’s such a beautiful country and there will be so much for you to explore and write about. That’s a gr8 thing. So let go and take a day at a time.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Good for you! Scandinavia is wonderful!
    I made a move from the Netherlands to Denmark when I was 20. It was supposed ro be fir an internship only, but I ended up staying for 4 years! I met amazing people and enjoined the relaxef lifestyle Denmark has. I am sure Sweden is pretty much the same 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You are very brave, thank you for sharing! I can really empathise with this feeling of anxiety you get when there appears to be no reason to be anxious. This is one of my biggest struggles, I am not used to feeling completely at peace so when I am, my mind constantly scrambles to find something to worry about!

    Thank you so much for sharing your experience, and I am sure there will be a lot of wonderful moments ahead for you to look forward to 🙂 My best advice, and I know it’s easier said than done, but is to take everything one day at a time and to not put pressure on yourself. You can only do your best, and your best will vary from day to day.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Glad you arrived safe mate, enjoy life and take care. 🙂

    I’ve been through the no plan phase before, you just make a new plan and move forward. You’ll be fine.

    (Oh and it’s Home Alone yes?)
    Still right here as always hun x

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m totally there with you. I just moved back home a couple days ago without having secured a job or the faintest idea of what I’ll do for the rest of my life. I don’t really have the wisdom to give you advice since I’m going through it too, but the thought that a lot of people starting out their lives are doing the same thing (soul searching) gives me a little bit of comfort. Best of luck to you in Sweden! Hugs💕

    Liked by 2 people

  7. *Kevin McCallister cocks the BB gun while his back is to the kitchen/back door.*

    I handled the tough situation of having to live in a homeless shelter and then transition back into “civilization” by living in fear of having it happen to my family again if I decided to go out on my own. I’m crippling myself for the great sacrifice of having protected my family from further emotional turmoil. But in return, I had to give up romantic relationships. Perhaps this is what’s been making me feel like I’ll die alone, because nobody in the US wants to date a man who “still lives at home.”

    I’m so glad you’re taking this leap. The leap I don’t think I’ll ever be able to take until, God help me, my mother passes away which will free me from this emotional prison. I feel like I’m a terrible person for saying that, but my mother showed me no compassion, was of no emotional support. Life made me thick skinned, my mother not hugging me made me so soft/thirsty hearted.

    I’m glad you fought through your anxiety to get this. I love knowing folks have done what I only hope to join in someday. The “I battled my demons and won!” club. Bless your heart.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This is terribly sad. I am sorry you are in the position you are in. Never give up though, one day you’ll see that glimmer of light, just be sure to follow it. I truly hope you find your way. All the best to you my friend.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Love every minute of it…breathe in each moment and live in it! Become more than you imagine you could. Sing out loud, dance to the rythmn, fall to the floor laughing, smile with your eyes and open your heart to recieve all the love & good in this big beautiful world…fill your lungs with every bit of life and just breathe out love!

    The title comes from a Movie…Home Alone!

    Much love and light to you Sara

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Congratulations! I admire anyone who is capable of packing up and leaving. Takes courage and that you have my friend. When I do encounter those times in my life with no plan or direction I simply live every day slowly as it comes. Like sipping a hot cup of coffee, little sips and eventually it gets warm or I finish it. In less than five years I want to move to South America. Don’t know where and how and the thought scares me but it is something I wanted to do for along time. When the time comes I’ll do the same, one moment at a time, slowly adapting, because we do have the capacity to adapt. Good luck with your move and stay strong! (())

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Love that movie, but didn’t get the reference. I love making movie line and TV show references like that and that’s a good idea to use them as titles too. I will have to remember that and ‘steal’ the idea. 🙂

    Your new like sounds exciting. I’ve never been to Sweden but had a friend who visited a couple times. She returned to give me a magnetic bottle opener with the city name Stockholm on it. Hm…

    Anyway, congrats on your new life. Enjoy.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. As soon as I saw the title, I knew it was Home Alone. I watch it annually, it’d be sad if I didn’t get that quote 😂

    I’m glad you made it safe through your travels. Life is funny, and I wish you the best in your new endeavors! It’s okay not to have any plans, just enjoy the moment and take it day by day. You’ll figure it out eventually (:

    Also, congrats on so many followers!!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Sara! I’m also entirely sure I replied to this blog entry within minutes of you posting! But now I think I either imagined it, or typed it on another device and did not hit send! Just wanted to say I’m beyond thrilled for you during this epic, next chapter of your life! Bravo girlfriend, grab that bull by the horns and give it a big shake! We are all rooting for you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Sara – I’m so excited for you! I applaud you for taking such a big opportunity by the horns. Best of luck to you as you settle into your new home and life in Sweden. I’ve always wanted to explore more of Europe – I’ve been fortunate to have traveled to England. France, and Spain so far. Like others have said, enjoy the little moments, and move at your own pace. I can’t wait to see your posts about your adventures!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I’m stoked for you Sara, congrats on making the move (and finding a keeper!). The decision is always the hardest part, everything always seems to fall into place once a decision has actually been made. Whereabouts in Sweden, Stockholm? Scandinavia has a very special place in my heart, I’m sure it will be no less for you. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  15. although this is a localized in california. i moved from san jose to Los Angeles. That time i had nothing but retail job, handling everything to be a father and a husband. I took extra effort not to think of so much details, and yes i was numb from emotional tenses that i went through. I just want to say is this. Dont think much of all things, keep yourself as much as possible not to be idle, and be as lovely as you are. everything will come off and ease in, as life would be yours take to again.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. i have only been here a week, but I already see why you say try not to be idle. It makes the hours go by slowly. Unfortunately the UK gave me a cold as a leaving gift so I have been a bit lethargic, hopefully from now the energy will come back!

      Like

  16. How wonderful. A brand new beginning. Make the best use of it. Absorb all the new sights, take in the beauty, smell the flowers, taste all the new foods make a U turn and start again. It’s not all who gets a compete change like that and to a wonderful country like that. Start writing about all the positive things and ideal time to write gratitudes of all the new and good things you are seeing and experiencing. This is how I know as in n time you will find you have shifted to a positive track. Best of luck 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I guess getting out of our comfort zone means discomfort. Leaving Malaysia where I have lived for one third of my life to Australia was very scary but I found that after 4 years I have easily adapted to the culture and still eager to learn. You will be alright! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  18. So exciting!!! As I sit here reading this, I feel as if I am not even living I am just alive. Not in a depressed sense but in a desperate sense. People such as yourself who are brave enough to say “this is what I want and I am going to do it” Inspire me. Congrats!

    Liked by 1 person

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