Not enough

One shot for every bad thing I said
One cut for every time I ran instead of facing my fears
One pill for every time I hurt you

Then I’m left sat here in tears
It’s not your fault it’s mine
I forget to tell you I’m scared

I push you away
And then I push too far
You let go

Then I stupidly wonder why?
When will I learn?

I would rather hurt myself than feel fear
My unhealthy obsession with sadness

The warm tears slowly running over my cheeks
Will I ever learn?
Can I break the cycle?

I don’t want to hurt you
I like being the reason you smile
So why can’t I stop myself?

One step forward and ten steps back
Every time the feeling returns

I let it back in, because it’s familiar
I wish it were a distant stranger

One day sorry won’t be enough

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47 Comments

  1. It’s hard to carry on sometimes, and this post nails how I feel some days.

    They’re the thoughts I have but can’t admit to anyone.

    That kind of writing’s so powerful. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

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