One shot for every bad thing I said
One cut for every time I ran instead of facing my fears
One pill for every time I hurt you
Then I’m left sat here in tears
It’s not your fault it’s mine
I forget to tell you I’m scared
I push you away
And then I push too far
You let go
Then I stupidly wonder why?
When will I learn?
I would rather hurt myself than feel fear
My unhealthy obsession with sadness
The warm tears slowly running over my cheeks
Will I ever learn?
Can I break the cycle?
I don’t want to hurt you
I like being the reason you smile
So why can’t I stop myself?
One step forward and ten steps back
Every time the feeling returns
I let it back in, because it’s familiar
I wish it were a distant stranger
One day sorry won’t be enough